Gilbert Beilschmidt Blog
by waterrain
Summary: AU All Human. Gilbert at the age of 15 years old created a Blog and he writes about himself, but Gilbert also types about Ludwig his 10 year old brother.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank you. **

**Gilbert Beilschmidt Blog**

**By waterrain**

**_This Is The Awesome Blog Of The One And Only Gilbert Beilschimidt! I'm the three A's Awesome, Amazing, and Admired. Yes, I'm admired by everyone and everything due to my sheer awesomeness. _**

**_I'm at an amazing height of 5'9. I know that I'm the most attractive guy in the whole entire galaxy. I'm sexy, handsome, good looking, and everyone wants to get into my pants since I'm very attractive not to mention very awesome. _**

**_The month that made the world become full of awesome due to my remarkable birth was on the sweet month of January and it was on the eighteenth. _**

**_You know January 18th should become an official holiday and that holiday should be called The Awesome Birth Of Gilbert or TABOG for short, but then again maybe not that for short since it sounds kind of lame… Hmm, The one day Holiday should be called Gilbert's Awesome Birth and GAB for short. GAB sounds better than TABOG. _**

**_My little bruder turned ten years old today, but seriously he acts and sounds more like a drill sergeant by the week not by the year. _**

**_Is he a normal kid? Hell no for my bruder refuses to eat candy and soda! He says it would be bad for his growth and claims that he will get taller than me. I tried to make him drink a Mountain Dew, but he kicked me between my legs and gave me the expression of 'Let That Be A Lesson To You'. Like heck I'll give up! I will get my bruder to be a normal kid one way or another I'm determined! _**

**_My bruder has a grand total of three friends…Yeah I'm still shocked my bruder has friends and he has been friends with an evil Russian Boy for two and a half months. Personally, I disapprove of my bruder being friends with Ivan for quite a few reasons and no it is not just because Ivan is a Russian. That Russian Boy seriously gives me the creeps. _**

**_My little bruder has been friends with a polite Japanese Boy for two years, but than last month he gained a new friend that is a very cheerful Italian Boy. However said very cheerful Italian Boy has an Older brother that keeps on calling my bruder Potato Bastard for some reason._**

**_Maybe pissed off that his younger brother prefers the company of my little bruder or something. The cheerful Italian Boy is Feliciano and his older brother is Lovino. The polite Japanese Boy is Honda Kiku._**

**_I'm fifteen years old and I have no problem with buying stuffed Panda Bear Toys for those animals are awesome just like me. Anyway, I'm going to water my awesome flowers and gloat loudly that my Garden is the Best one in the Whole Entire Universe, Bitches!_**

**_My little bruder will more than likely throw a bucket of cold water at me again for being loud and unruly, but I'm not afraid to get wet!_**

**_After all I'm not Roderich that lousy prissy creature that freaks out when his hair is out of place or if there is one damn wrinkle on his cheap shirt. Yeah, Roderich I know your shirt is cheap even though you try to doll it up and make it look expensive. I'm not an idiot and I saw you buy it._**

**_Anyway, The One And Only Awesome Me has some gardening to do. _**

_Your little brother is scary and he promised to make me suffer if I touch his friends again. The Japanese Boy was so cute with those red cheeks and The Italian Boy was so adorable when he looked up with me with such a confused little look. Gilbert, Should I try to grope your brother? Oh and by the way I would not ever grope the Russian Boy. –Francis _

_Gilbert, You are not awesome or amazing. Your own brother does not admire you. You are vain and there will not ever be a holiday named after you nor will there be an official holiday on your birthday. By the way I for one do not want to get into your pants. Were you stalking me? I didn't see you at all. -Roderich _

_Lovino and Feliciano are cute kids. Gilbert, Your little brother looks cute when he is asleep. I wish I had a little brother…If I had one I would spoil him and it would be so much fun having a little brother. -Antonio_

**Please Review and Thank You.**

**Bruder is German for Brother**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia. Please Review and Thank you for reviewing. **

**Gilbert Beilschmidt Blog**

**By waterrain**

**_I'm the cool and awesome, Gilbert Beilschmidt. However at the moment…I'm not feeling awesome….I know it is a complete shocker since I'm always so damn awesome, but maybe I'm sick or something._**

**_My little bruder is a bit sick. He is sneezing like crazy along with coughing and completely ignoring me! How can anyone ignore me?_**

**_I streaked around the house, but he didn't yell at me for being indecent or snapped at me in that Drill Segrent Voice 'Put On Your Clothes Now, Bruder.' I decided to drink from the milk carton, but my little bruder didn't lecture me or scold me for drinking from the milk carton. I kept on saying over and over again to him 'I'm Awesome', but he just stayed silent instead of saying 'Bruder, Shut Up. You are not Awe-' _**

**_Anyway, No matter what I did or said he didn't say a single word to me…It is not like I'm feeling unawesome because my little bruder is ignoring me and not saying anything to me…I'm going to check his email._**

**_Alright, My bruder typed in an email to his three friends 'Do Not Call Me. My throat is sore and I'm not going to talk for an unknown amount of time.' _**

**_I feel my inner awesomeness, coming back, and it's growing at a rapid rate…I'M AWESOME! Cheer and rejoice for my feeling of awesomeness is back! _**

**_It is not like I had felt unawesome because my little bruder was not talking to me. It is not like I felt a bit depressed and shed a few silent tears inside of a locked bathroom door at the thought of my own bruder ignoring me. _**

**_By the way, Francis. You are my best friend, Ja. So here is some friendly advise Do Not Grope Mein Kleiner Bruder for he would kick your balls without hesitating since my little bruder wouldn't care and wouldn't feel any sort of pity. _**

**_Also he might sick his pipe carrying Russian friend on you, Francis. Oh and I would have downgrade you from being MY BEST FRIEND down to MERELY A FRIEND if you touch my baby bruder's ass. Seriously, Think about the risks involved on groping my bruder's ass and the after math of it. _**

**_Antonio, I agree with you on how my bruder looks cute when he is sleeping…Anyway it is awesome having a little bruder. Heh, It is a lot of fun pissing him off and trying to see if he believes the stuff I say to him….Although, Sadly he looks up the information or he refers to a book rather than blindly believing what I tell him. _**

**_Oh Why oh why did I get a smart bruder instead of a dumb one? I wish I had a dumb little bruder that would listen and believe everything I told him…._**

**_Roderich, You are a liar…My bruder does admire me! _**

**_He secretly admires my epic awesomeness deep down inside of his beating heart! _**

**_My bruder wants to be just like my awesome self! _**

**_Also I was not stalking you, Roderich. I was just passing by with my awesome stuffed panda bear toy and saw you paying for a cheap shirt. Seriously, That shirt cost only a dollar!_**

**_Everyone wants to be like me, but there can only be the one and awesome me which is ME not ANYONE ELSE. My body is still sexy and everyone still wants to tap me, but everyone can keep on dreaming about having the awesome me._**

**_Anyway, I'm going to check up on Ludwig and see how he is doing after all I don't want him to die on me...Right now he could be crying upstairs from not seeing me for about thirty minutes...Ludwig, Your AWESOME older Brother is Coming to SAVE YOU from being ALONE and to stop YOUR TEARS! Bye from the unbelievably awesome me since I have a little bruder to check up on! I'm coming, LUDDY!_**

_Never mind, I will not grope Ludwig's ass it is not worth the trouble. I wouldn't want my precious lower regions being kicked by your little brother and I wouldn't want my precious nose being smashed by Ludwig's Russian Friend that happens to have a deadly pipe, but most of all I wouldn't want to be downgraded from being your Best Friend. I hope that Ludwig get's well soon and that you will be completely back to normal, Gilbert. –Francis _

_You are in complete denial about everything, Gilbert. It is useless trying to reason with you. I do hope that Ludwig will recover soon for he is the only one that can handle you and he is a good child that does not cause any trouble. I can see Ludwig becoming a Police Officer and I can see you being Arrested by him. -Roderich _

_What is the difference between having a dumb brother and having a smart brother? Oh and I hope that your little brother feels better soon. Lovino is coming down with a cold. Feliciano is healthy and shows no signs of any sort of sickness. -Antonio_

**Please Review and Thank You.**

**Ja is German for Yes**

**Mein Kleiner Bruder is German for My Little Bruder**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia.**

**Gilbert Beilschmidt Blog**

**By waterrain**

**_I'm the awesome and epic, Gilbert Beilschmidt. My little bruder is feeling a lot better because he lectured me for thirty minutes about the dangers of having loud music and no longer sneezing/coughing up a storm/throwing up as if he had morning sickness._**

**_I had a freaky nightmare two nights in a row about my bruder being pregnant/knocked. The first night the daddy was Ivan, but on the second night the daddy was Feliciano. I blame it on the fact he threw up in morning for three days in a row. Freaky as hell nightmare! _**

**_Yeah, Francis. Luddy's best friend Ivan is scary, violent, insane, and should be locked up in a mental ward or in prison. _**

**_Neat freak, I'm not in denial about anything. I'm not going to be arrested! (-_-) Why the hell do people keep on saying that I'll be arrested? The important thing is not getting caught and leave no evidence at the scene of the crime! Why do all of the teachers and certain people at school think I'll get arrest? As if the awesome me could ever be locked up! As if the awesome and epic me would ever fucking get caught! Ha, Ha, Ha. I bet you are going to get arrested before me….You'll get arrested by the fashion police for buying such cheap outfits! In your face rodent (^_^) _**

**_Antonio, The different between having a dumb brother and a smart brother happens to be…The dumb one being easier to trick, tease, and mess with….My little bruder is sadly smart not dumb…Why me?_**

**_Francis and Antonio remember the plan we came up with before my little bruder got sick. Let's carry out my plan tomorrow night. The moon will be hiding. Perfect time to strike!_**

_(^_^) You mean the one where we go out and….I'll put on my best heels and my special feathery pirate hat! Arr ye matey's! (X_^) –Francis _

_When you comment on how you wouldn't get caught means you are doing something bad and deserve to be locked up in jail. I believe you will be arrested before me, Gilbert. For disturbing the peace. What on earth are you planning tomorrow night? –Roderich_

_I'll make sure to bring my camera the one with tomato stickers on it. I'll make sure to bring my female pirate outfit. Arr ye matey's! (^_X)-Antonio _

**Please Review and Thank You.**

**.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia.**

**Gilbert Beilschmidt Blog**

**By waterrain**

Gilbert Beilschmidt a German.

Gilbert Beilschmidt fifteen and enjoys loud music along with having several questionable interests.

Gilbert Beilschmidt, German, fifteen, trouble maker, loud mouth rebel with a case to do something that is illegal, and has not been caught yet.

"Bruder, Why are you cackling?" Ludwig asked flatly and his small arms were crossed in annoyance.

"Don't worry, Luddy. Your awesome bruder won't be caught." Gilbert replied gleefully and he smirked widely to himself. "Me, Francis, and Antonio have done this for about…five years and have not been caught…You know me and my awesome friends only do this sort of thing once a month."

Ludwig Beilschmidt a German.

Ludwig Beilschmidt ten and hates loud music along with disliking his bruder's strange collections.

Ludwig Beilschimdt, German, ten, a non-trouble maker, loud mouth worrying younger brother for he believes his older brother will be arrested one day in the future, and is thankful Gilbert has not been caught yet.

"You are going to dress up and get older men to buy you beer again because they are easy to trick." Ludwig commented and his voice held quite a bit disgust in it.

"Don't worry I won't get knocked up because I'm not a female." Gilbert said causally and he rolled his eyes. "Plus Franic and Antonio will be there too. Safety in numbers. I got my cell phone and my epic swiss knife. I'll be fine. No need to worry, baby bruder."

"That is not the point." Ludwig stated firmly and he looked up at his older brother. "How would you like it if I dressed up and had older men buy me beer?"

"Fuck no. I won't allow that at all, Ludwig. I'm not going to let my little baby bruder get drunk and possibly felt up or worse." Gilbert said in a stern voice and arms crossed.

'He is a hypocrite, but it does not matter. I personally do not wish to drink beer for that would ruin my growth.' The ten year old blond haired boy briefly thought as he looked up at his older brother. 'I believe it ruined my bruder's growth.'

"I'm still growing and I have no desire to mess up my body. I will be taller than you, bruder." Ludwig informed him and Gilbert mentally sighed in relief.

"As if you'll get taller than me. I'm older than you and I'll always be taller." Gilbert said cheerfully and he decided to hug his little brother. "I got to hurry up and get changed."

Gilbert walked upstairs and there was a soft knock on the door. Ludwig peeked out of the window and it was only Francis along with Antonio. The ten year old boy opened the door.

"Where is Gilbert?" Francis asked curiously and he moved his feathered hat.

"He is getting ready." Ludwig replied calmly and the German boy looked at them. "If anything happens to my bruder...Let's just say I won't be caught for what I would do to you and Antonio…Plus I'm sure that Ivan would help me, Ja."

Francis's face turned pale, he silently nodded his head, and gripped Antonio's hand. Antonio was humming and not paying attention to anything going on at the moment.

**Please Review and Thank You.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia.**

**Gilbert Beilschmidt Blog**

**By waterrain**

"Ready to get some beer by tricking some idiotic saps?" Gilbert asked gleefully as he walked towards Francis and Antonio.

Gilbert wore black boots that have a high heel on them, he wore a feathered hat, a black scarf around his neck, a tattered black leather skirt, a silver belt, and a long sleeved red shirt that has a cross-bones on it. On his left eye was an eye patch. The make-up Gilbert wore was black eyeliner, black mascara, and dark red lip stick. He wore a blond wig that goes all the way to his hips.

"Bruder, Be safe." Ludwig stated firmly and he received a snicker.

"You worry too much, Luddy." Gilbert said carelessly, he tilted his head, and grinned. "I have my awesome swiss knife."

Francis and Antonio grabbed Gilbert's arms.

"Later, baby bruder." Gilbert commented before he walked out the door with his two best friends in the world. Ludwig closed the door, he leaned against it, and covered his blue eyes.

"I wish that I was an idiot. Too bad I found out about it last month. Too bad I didn't stay clueless." Ludwig whispered to himself and tears silently fell from his eyes. "I want to help, but he doesn't listen to me. I want to stop doing such thing to himself. He might get bad really bad one of these days if he keeps this up."

After an hour there was a knock on the door and Ludwig secretly hoped his older brother decided to come back, but it wasn't him.

"Hi, Roderich." Ludwig said calmly and his eyes burned from crying, but ignored it.

"What is wrong?" Roderich asked in a concern tone for he noticed that the boy's eyes were puffy and tear stains on his cheeks.

"It's nothing." Ludwig lied as he looked away from the older male. "Nothing is wrong. I'm fine."

"You don't look okay." Roderich commented calmly as he placed a hand on Ludwig's right shoulder.

"I don't want to talk about it." Ludwig told him and he turned on the Tv. His blue eyes went wide, he fell backwards, and luckily Roderich caught him before the boy hit his head.

"What's wrong, Ludwig?" Roderich asked, but then he looked at the news and after a moment held the blond haired boy close to him for Ludwig was crying.

"Mein Gott they must be talking about my bruder and his friends." Ludwig managed to say to the older boy. "They went out dressed in girl clothing tonight."

'The news is saying three male teens were murdered in cold blood.' Roderich thought as he held the boy. 'They can't be talking about Gilbert, Francis, and Antonio. It can't be them.'

An hour later Ludwig's cell phone rung and Roderich answered it.

"Hey, Luddy. I decided not to drink any beer this time cause I was thinking on how I'm setting a really bad example for you and junk. I just flirted a bit and got paid money. I'm saving my money up."

"Get your ass back home now to your younger brother."

"Huh? Rodent what the hell are you doing at my home? I can't believe you actually said ass."

"You are a complete and utter disgrace to the human race, Gilbert. You left your ten year old brother all alone and an hour ago on the news said three male teens were murdered."

"Hand the cell phone over to my little bruder now."

"He is sleeping in my arms at the moment and I do not wish to wake him up." Roderich stated firmly before ending the call and he sighed to himself. Ludwig clung tightly on Roderich and refused to let go.

"Bruder, Bruder, Bruder. You can't be dead." Ludwig whispered in his sleep and tears kept on falling. To be honest Roderich had tried to wake Ludwig up, but nothing seemed to work and he stroked the German's blond hair.

"He is not dead." Roderich commented gently, but his voice went unheard.

**Please Review and Thank You.**

**Mein Gott means My God in German.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia.**

**Gilbert Beilschmidt Blog**

**By waterrain**

An hour and fifty minutes earlier Gilbert was sighing heavily for he couldn't get the image of his little brother looking at him with such disgust and the fifteen year old German recalled how disappointed Ludwig had looked when he had first found out.

'I wish Luddy never found out and that he had remained as clueless as a little lamb.' Gilbert briefly thought and his gloved hands clenched at the tattered short black skirt. 'Damn it.'

"You look rather thoughtful tonight." Francis commented causally as he groped Gilbert's bottom. "Your ass has been feeling rather boney lately. Are you on a diet?"

"Damn it, Francis. Don't grope my awesome ass when I'm thinking about stuff and no I'm not on a diet. I have not been eating as much food as I normally do because I feel pretty stressed on whether or not I'll fail because my grades suck." Gilbert snapped angrily and he crossed his arms.

"What were you thinking about?" Antonio asked curiously and the Spaniard either did not notice or didn't care that Francis groped him on the bottom.

"It doesn't matter." Gilbert muttered as he looked away for a moment. Suddenly the German was attacked with tight hugs from both of his best friends Antonio and Francis.

"Mein Gott, Too tight!" Gilbert managed to say and the hug decreased in strength. "Much better. Were you guys trying to off me or something?"

Antonio smiled brightly and Francis chuckled at him.

"When you say it doesn't matter that means it matters a whole lot." Antonio commented cheerfully before kissing Gilbert on the right cheek and releasing him from the hug. "So tell us what is wrong or I'll tickle you mercilessly."

"We are the bad touch friends. We stick together and help each other out." Francis said calmly before briefly groping Gilbert and Antonio. "Gilbert, your ass is boney and you need to eat more. Antonio, Your ass is just right and healthy."

Gilbert's cheeks were flushed, he clenched his fists, and glared at the French teenager.

"Stop that groping of yours to see if we are healthy. We are not inside of your or Antonio's home. So keep your hands to yourself until we are at your house or at Antonio's house." Gilbert stated firmly and he glanced around the area.

"You are silly for we are alone and inside of a dark alley." Francis said causally and he pat Gilbert on the shoulder. "You are too self-conscious sometimes my dear and beloved best friend of mine."

"I'm not fucking self-conscious! I'm awesome and epic." Gilbert commented loudly as he looked at Francis and after a moment sighed. "Let's go by that one place and work our magic on getting beer from the dudes."

"What were you thinking about earlier, Gilbert?" Francis and Antonio asked at the same time.

"Damn, you two are persistent." Gilbert grumbled to himself while looking at his two best friends in the whole entire world. "Fine, I'll stop beating around the bush and just say it."

"I was thinking about my little bruder's disgusted and disappointed expression. That's all." Gilbert informed them and this time he was tackled with hugs by them. "Damnit! Will you two stop attacking and tackling me with hugs?"

"Never, Gil." Francis and Antonio commented cheerfully as they squeezed him tightly and Gilbert mentally groaned.

"Let's go trick or treating even though it's not even October." Gilbert told them, a smirk on his lips, and he glanced down at his cell phone. Francis, Gilbert, and Antonio linked arms as they were walking.

**Please Review and Thank You.**


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